How many people need to write practically everything down to remember even the most trivial things? Am I unique? I carry a book with me, mostly a diary, everywhere I go. Writing it all down has a calming effect on me. I feel stress free once I have written down things I am expected to remember, and know fully well I am not able to remember even the least important of things. I write down when I took my pills. That is because I have a fear of double dosing because minutes after I've taken my pills I cannot remember taking them. And I am not into the dementia stage just yet. I am simply forgetful. So now, decades later, I have dozens of diaries that I can read and feel like I am going back in time. It is an eerie feeling, let me tell you.
Also I have a "financial diary" that is reserved especially for recording everything I spend. It reminds of someone counting their calories in a bid to lose weight. If I record and justify every cent I spend, then I feel I am being frugal and not being wasteful or frivolous. And these are the things that help to keep me sane. Then again, I suspect anyone who read this would probably feel justified in suspecting that I have already lost the plot, and am quite insane. I don't have many hobbies or "pleasures" in life, but I do get a feeling of accomplishment, when, at the end of the day I can see I've filled up the A4 page of my large diary and don't have to worry about remembering anything because it is already written down and I can refer back to anything anytime. That's one of the reasons I always keep the phone off the hook unless I need to ring someone. Whenever anyone rings me, unless I write down their message, I'm sure to forget what we talked about. Better to write snail mail letters or send emails. And I am not one of those people who can "multi task". And soon I'll be hitting 70 which is supposed to be 'not old', and I have to accept that I'll be filling in lots more diaries before I kick the bucket, even though I don't do very much or go anywhere much. The little bit I do is enough to keep my diary filled up each day. People who don't keep a diary often don't know or can't remember what they did yesterday. That would send me over the edge. Not being able to figure out where I was on this day a year ago.. or a week ago... or just yesterday... I have it all covered. I think anyone who doesn't keep a diary would truly benefit from doing so. They needn't be as pedantic as I am, but it certainly has kept me steady over the past. Now and again I get feed back from people who know of my habit, and some will say "I wish I had done what you do..." I tell them it is still not too late. As we get older we seem to feel that time is going faster and faster. Having it all written down helps me to make sense of my life, and what I am doing with it.
I hope I haven't seemed too dreary. I'm already wondering about what I'll put in my next post.
